Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Diversification in Dating: Applying Investment Techniques to Dating

One afternoon while compiling a presentation on investing and retirement, I started to think about how investing in the stock market can be very similar to investing in dating: Aren't they both investments in our future? I decided to explore this realization and came to the conclusion that if there are techniques available to curb risks while investing in the market, that I could potentially apply the same techniques to my dating life. I think this theory will bode well for those that take and apply it (stay tuned for application of theory and its effects in a later entry, this is currently being tested - heavily).

I don't think I can continue without referencing the Sex and the City episode where Carrie comes to a very similar comparison and questions: Why do we keep investing? I certainly understand her thoughts here, but I say we go further and not question why we date. We all know why we do that. Either way, it's not in question that we invest in the opposite sex. I suggest that we apply the same techniques available in order to guard against financial risks to our dating risks. I believe if we utilized a simple investment rule, that we could lessen the risk of getting hurt. And in turn, we'd potentially be less reluctant to putting ourselves out there. The idea I wish to explore today is the idea of diversification.

Diversifying in investments essentially means that you spread out your Investments to reduce risks so that a fluctuation of a single security (Investment) has a lesser impact on your portfolio. The theory allows you to minimize risks from any one Investment. I'm sure you can see where I'm headed with this one. Similarly to diversifying your stock investments, let's diversify our dating portfolio. The trick is to start dating more than one person at a time: Spread out your Investments. Date guys from different backgrounds, age groups, areas of interest and even locations. I'm not suggesting that someone in a committed relationship start dating multiple guys at a time, but I think in the beginning stages of dating it would be beneficial to date multiple people. This would prevent us from putting all of our eggs into one “Investment” basket.

I hear the same story over and over: Girl meets boy, girl likes boy, boy let’s girl down, Girl gets hurt. I think hurt is the wrong way to categorize this feeling. After self analysis of this repetitive scenario, I realized that I was just disappointed because the Investment didn’t cash in. The truth isn't that the Investment that we had three "amazing" dates with hurt us. Let's be real here, we hardly knew the Investment well enough for their absence to affect our life in any real way. The disappointment was a result of not looking for another great investment and not spreading out the risk. If I had, the fluctuation of a single Investment would have had lesser impact on my Dating Portfolio. How upset would I really be if bachelor number one didn't work out when I had bachelors numbers two through four, hell… let's make it five, to pick up their slack? I'm guessing not as much. It puts a new perspective on Bachelor number one - a minor loss. So, I've decided to diversify not only my stock portfolio, but my dating portfolio as well. Stay tuned for how things work out, this could get quite interesting.


  1. I think it could also be called "guy insurance". Like the just-in-case it doesn't work out thing, there is one waiting and there for you.
    Maybe we should start selling this guy insurance to women accross the world. This way we reduce the heartbreak and all that jazz that goes along with it.

  2. i had a similar thought process a few years back. i called it my cost benefit analysis. i based it on like 5 different categories and i thought very logically about the entire process.

    i did this after a pretty bad breakup with the guy i thought was "it" for me -- andrew young. heartbreaker extraordinaire. and i found a few guys that logically, on paper, looked like fabulous investments.

    for me, i found that logic in love is a lot like communism. it looks great on paper, but doesn't really work in real life.

    mind you, you're talking about diversifying your portfolio at the beginning stages of a relationship, which i fully believe in. too many women have a tendency to jump heart first and not make sure the man they're jumping for is worth it. so it's different.

    but, at some point, you find a guy that makes you want to put all your eggs back into one basket. that's when it gets tricky again.

    though, i suppose, like the stock market... the greater the risk, the more lucrative (or disastrous) the outcome.

  3. Thanks for you insight! So true! It's not really about making a logical plan out of dating or falling in love- I've learned there's nothing logical about it. The last thing you mentioned about once you find a guy that you want to put all your eggs something that is also investment related and I'm going to definitely explore that. But the investment concept is that once you find an investment that is giving you a greater benefit, it is suggested that you put more of a percentage of your portfolio into that one investment and leave some in others... It will be explored in a later entry. I glad to have you weigh in! I look forward to hearing what you have to say about some future entries!